Old Folks

Margaret and Bert

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Margaret looked him over. “Nope.”

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?”

“Nope. Not a clue”, she replied.

“It’s hangin’ down ’cause it’s lookin’ at my new boots!!!!”

WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT MARGARET REPLIED, “SHOULDA’ BOUGHT A HAT, BERT, SHOULDA’ BOUGHT A HAT.”

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Uncle Bud’s Corvette

All of his life my Uncle Bud in Kentucky has wanted a Corvette convertible.

Well, my Grandma recently sent me a letter saying that Bud had won $100,000 on one of them fancy “scratch off” lottery tickets.

He immediately bought Grandma a new cook-stove, bought my Granddaddy a new riding lawn mower and bought himself a brand-new red Corvette convertible.

He drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of 
the dealership, taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying
 the wind blowing through what little hair he has left.

“Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.



Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Kentucky State Trooper, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then
 120.

Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and 
pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.


Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked over to the Corvette.

He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30
 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding—a 
reason I’ve never before heard — I’ll let you go.”

Uncle Bud paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a 
Kentucky State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”



“Have a good day, Sir, drive carefully” replied the trooper as he smiled and walked back to his car.





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