A Wish To Live Forever
I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.
“I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!”
“Fine,” I said, “then I want to die after Congress get their heads out of their asses!”
“You crafty little bastard,” said the fairy.
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YEP, Well …
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The Bellamys Got It Right!
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Bats
This is astounding. I had no idea.
Did you know this about bats?
The newsletter from, “The Texas Gardener Seeds” said:
Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals.
Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly,
and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are.
Need another reason?
Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the seed dispersal
essential to the regeneration of forests. Our planet is populated
with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures.
Here are three from the Bat Family…
Sucker-footed Bat
Red-Winged Fruit Bat
Left-Winged Socialist Ding Bat
So 2 out of 3 Bats have a useful purpose!
If we could just train him to eat mosquitoes…or do anything useful.
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The Golden Urinal
Before Obama was elected President he went to see Bill and Hillary at their spacious home for some campaign advice.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Clinton’s private toilet, he was astonished to see that Clinton had a solid gold urinal! Wow!
That afternoon, Obama told his wife, Michelle, about the urinal. “Just think”, he said, “when I am President, I too could have a gold urinal. But I wouldn’t have something so self-indulgent!”
Later, when Michelle had lunch with Hillary, she told Hillary how impressed Barack had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private bathroom, Bill had a gold urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, “I found out who p*##ed in your saxophone.”
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In response to E-Mails about my dog…..Please be advised, I am sick and tired of answering questions about my dog, who mauled six people wearing Obama tee shirts, four wearing Pelosi tee shirts, nine teenage boys with pants hanging past their cracks, three flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.
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FOR THE LAST TIME… THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !! !
I’M TRYING TO TALK HIM INTO QUITTING SMOKING, BUT HE SAYS
IT HELPS GET THE BAD TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH !!!
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Grandkids, Grand Travels, Granddaddy Tales and Grand Ol' Politics 